Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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