yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
