Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
