Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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