This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
