YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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