you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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