ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
