Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
