Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
