I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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