In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
