I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
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Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
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Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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