At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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