Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
