Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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