And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
