I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
