i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
