After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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