Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize