I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
