i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
