There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
No stitches, just platelets and will power
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We need a shit load of segways right now
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
