I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I enjoy the company of your penis
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