remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize