Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
