it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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