I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
