No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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