Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
