no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
