..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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