Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
