Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
me + whiskey = a bad person
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
