and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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