I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
