I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
