This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize