Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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