Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
