Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
