dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
