:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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