You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
