hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
