1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
