Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
