I think i peed on brittanys purse
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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