just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
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I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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