U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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