shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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