Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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