we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
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