Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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