Girls should come with a carfax report
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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