Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
