yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
