i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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